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“Very. I don’t want to lie to you. Ashlyn may have mates and a child, but I still love her. And my wolf still loves her.” I told her.
“So what happened? She found her mates and left you?” she asked.
“I wish I could say that was how it happened, but it did. I cheated, and she left. She found Mason first and then Derek.” I told her.
“Well, I appreciate your honesty, Ian. It’s difficult, especially for an alpha to admit when he is wrong. But how did you guys turn out to be friends?” she asked, curiously.
“I’m not entirely sure. We have been friends for almost ten years. I guess we both didn’t want to lose each other,” I told her.
“Should I just head back home?” She asked me.
“I’d like you to stay, but only if you want to. I’m not perfect, and there may be some days when I will be unbearable, but if I fuck this up, Ashlyn may actually kill me.” I told her. She nudged my hip with hers as we stood side by side, leaning on the railing, looking out into the backyard.
“I like her already.”
New Life
Ashlyn
I woke up with a weird feeling of urgency. I was moving towards James’ room before my brain was even awake enough to realize what my body was doing. My mind finally caught up with my body as soon as my hand touched the doorknob on his door. I grabbed the robe that hung by the door, pulling it on before I opened the door quietly as I peered inside his room. James was playing with his toes in his sleeper. I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding in. He was cooing and making bubbles as I came over to his crib, leaning over to watch my baby boy.
“Good morning, my sweet little boy. What are you doing awake?” I cooed. He reached his hands up and I picked him up, holding him to my chest.
“Hungry?” I asked him. I changed his nappy, and then I went down to the kitchen to make him a bottle. I was sad that I wasn’t nursing him anymore, but as long as the baby gets fed, that’s all that matters.
I made him a bottle before I took him out to the sunroom just off the kitchen. You can see the lake at the back of the house. The sun was just about to come up, so it was still pretty dark. But it was still a great place to sit and think. I cradled James in my arms and fed him. He quickly fell back asleep, and I found myself just watching the world outside our home.
It was peaceful, and I relaxed, enjoying this small moment with my boy. I may feel confused about my life right now, but one thing that I was very sure of was James. I love my mates, but James is my entire world.
I rubbed my new mark while I watched the sunrise. James snuggled into my chest, still fast asleep. A commotion coming from inside the house made me turn my attention to the kitchen. What the hell could happen this early in the morning? I stood up with James and went back into the kitchen. I found my mates, Liam, Brandon and Sage, all looking panicked. All eyes were on me as I closed the door to the sunroom behind me.
“Is everything okay?” I asked them, confused.
“Baby, why are you not in bed?” Mason rushed out, coming over to me.
“James was up.” I told him.
“Ashlyn, you scared the crap out of us.” Sage exclaimed, and I looked at her confused.
“Were you expecting me to leave?” I asked them.
“Of course not, Baby.” Mason said, wrapping his arms around me.
“Then is there another reason you are all running around the house like crazy people?” I asked, looking around the room.
“Beautiful, before we always knew where you were. It’s just new having you moving around. And you have a habit of running off.” Liam said, and both my mates let out a growl.
“I appreciate your honesty, Liam. But I would never put James in danger. And besides, where the hell would I even go? All of you are here.” I said.
“I thought you talked to Ian.” Mason shrugged, and I looked up at him. He still had his hands on my hips.
“I probably would have, if I knew where my phone was. But why would talking to Ian make me run?” I asked him and he pushed his lips into a line and looked at Derek.
“Baby, Ian found his mate,” Mason finally answered.
“Really? Fuck, it’s not Nicole, is it?” I rushed out.
“No, it’s not Nicole,” he said.
“Oh, thank the goddess.” I breathed out. Finally, my brain caught up with what Mason had just told me.
“Wait, so Ian found his mate, and it’s not Nicole. And you thought that I would have been upset enough to run off with James?” I asked. The silence in the room spoke volumes.
“Okay, well, I’m going to go lay James down and then get ready. I have a big day planned for us.” I said, pulling away from Mason and moving to exit the kitchen.
“Liam is in charge of your security,” Mason said before I stepped through the door frame. Taking in a deep breath, I looked over at Liam.
“I guess you’re with us today.” I told him before I left the kitchen.
After I laid James down in his crib, I went back into our room. I went over to the closet and looked around for any of my old stuff. I do not know where my phone went to, but I still have my old phone. I found the box with all my documents in it from Grace and, to my surprise, my old phone was in the box with the SIM that I had taken out. Charging my phone beside the bed. I checked on James and then I went to have a shower.
I was trying not to let what my mates said bother me. I know that Ian and I have a weird relationship. And I’m so happy that he has found his mate. Now I can stop feeling so guilty about being happy with my mates. I love Ian, but I’m not in love with him. And I’m trying to understand both sides. I would be upset if the situation was reversed, but they both know Ian, and they know I would never step out on them, on our family. If I wanted to be with Ian, I wouldn’t have remarked on them.
Taking a deep breath, I turned off the shower. I stepped out and wrapped a towel around my body before stepping into our room. I found both my mates. Derek was sitting on the edge of the bed, and Mason was pacing the room. Both looked at me when I stepped out.
“What’s up?” I asked them, heading to the closet to get dressed. They said nothing as I got dressed in a pair of jeans and a blouse. When I was done, I walked back into our room to find them on the bed, mumbling to each other. Ignoring them, I walked over to James’ door. I was just about to turn the knob when Mason spoke.
“Baby, I didn’t mean to upset you.” I paused before I turned around to face him.
“The only part that upset me was the fact both of you thought I would intentionally put James in danger. He’s my child and I would never hurt him, especially over a guy.” I told them, crossing my arms over my chest.
“But you did. You saved Ian, instead of being in James’ life,” Derek growled out. I immediately felt guilty. I didn’t make the right decision then, but I would never make that mistake again.
“Derek!” Mason growled.
“You’re right, Derek. I didn’t make the right decision then, but I will choose no one over my son again.” I said before I turned around and entered James’ room. He was still sleeping, so I took a seat in the window seat they had set up. His room looked out onto the lake. It was a beautiful view.
I couldn’t enjoy the view with the guilt of almost leaving my son churning my stomach into knots. A queen is supposed to protect her people, and all I did was get myself killed and lose my wolf. I failed as a queen but, more importantly, as James’ mother. Getting back home to him should have been my top priority, and it wasn’t. And I’ll never make that mistake ever again.
It wasn’t long before Sage peeked her head in. Seeing me, she wandered in, closing the door behind her. She came to sit with me on the window seat.
“Are you okay?” She asked me. I turned my attention from the window to her.
“Derek’s right. I shouldn’t have put anyone above James.” I told her with tears in my eyes.
“What are you talking about? What did he say?” she asked me, confused.
“He said that I put Ian above our son when I saved Ian.” I told her and she sighed, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
“Oh sweetie, they are just worried about you. And I know he didn’t mean it like that. You were reckless before, but I know now that James is your life and you would do nothing to endanger his life.” She told me.
“Then why were you all so worried earlier?” I asked her.
“Because we just got you back. We panicked when we couldn’t find you or James. We thought something might have happened,” Sage said.
“You thought I ran off to see Ian?” I asked her and she sighed.
“Well, I didn’t. I knew you would never leave again without someone with you, especially with James.” she told me, squeezing my shoulders.
“They don’t trust me, do they?” I whispered.
“They don’t understand that Ian was your safe place. You spend so much of your life with him, and it’s hard to let go. I know you love Mason and Derek. If you didn’t, you would never let them mark you again, especially without the matebond.” she said, and I rubbed my mark. I didn’t even look at it to see if it was the same.
“Can I tell you something?” I asked her.
“Of course you can. I’m your sister,” she answered.
“I’m happy that Ian found someone. It means I can stop feeling guilty about being happy,” I told her.
“I know, sweetie. Feelings are hard. But things will get better. Everyone is just on edge. Like Liam said earlier, we are just worried about your safety.” She said.
“I’m no longer important. I’m no queen. Maybe by being mated to Mason and Derek. I can understand being worried about James’ safety, but mine? I’m no one, again.” Sage let out a gasp before turning to me so I could face her.
“A nobody? Really? A nobody wouldn’t have brought down the council building. A nobody wouldn’t have saved countless people forced to fight. A nobody wouldn’t have been able to get werewolves to donate blood to vampires. And you saved so many more just by making sure that dick of a vampire was dead. You may not feel like a queen, but you are one. And don’t you dare ever let anyone tell you otherwise,” she exclaimed.
“How can you have so much faith in me?” I asked her.
“I’ve seen firsthand what you are capable of. You don’t need powers to inspire people. You do the right thing, because it’s the right thing.” She said.
“Then why does it seem that I help others but I hurt my mates?” I asked her.
“Because you need to include them. They will only strengthen you if you allow them to. You aren’t on the journey alone. We all love and care about you. We are all here for you, so when things become too much, lean on us. It doesn’t make you weak to ask for help.” She said, rubbing my back. All I could do was nod. I was choking on the emotions that were caught in my throat.
“Now, go take a moment for yourself. I’ll come get you when James is up. And don’t worry, Mason and Derek both had to leave.” Sage told me.
“Thank you.” I whispered. I checked on James before I headed back into our room.
I decided I needed to call Ian. I unlocked my phone and my screen showed a picture of me and Ian. We were out hiking and he was carrying me on his back. This phone holds so many memories of us. I ignored all my past messages and found his number. I hesitated before I hit the call button. As the phone rang, my stomach was in knots.
“Ashlyn?” Ian’s voice came through.
“Hey, Ian.”
Resentment
Mason
“Derek, what the fuck was that?” I growled at him after Ashlyn left our room.
“You feel the same way. Don’t act like you don’t,” he yelled back.
“Sure, but you don’t have to tell her. She made a decision that she can’t change and making her feel guilty about it won’t help. I understand how you feel, but we love her and she needs us right now.” I scolded him.
“We are always going to come second to that fucken alpha.” he growled out. Before he could storm out, I yelled after him.
“If she wanted him, she had a way out. She remarked us because she wanted us.”, I told him. I must have made my point, because he hesitated before slamming the door behind him. Sighing, I left our room. I had a meeting with my father this morning. I was debating canceling so I could sort my mates out.
I understand why Derek is so upset, but it will change nothing. She’s here with us, and that’s what matters right now. I don’t like her relationship with Ian either, but I don’t want to control her. I don’t think she would ever cheat on us and if she was going to leave, she could have. She marked us before she knew Ian had found his mate. If she really wanted to be with him, she had the chance.
I met Brandon at the front door. He was coming with me while Liam was on protection duty. Matt should be back tomorrow, and then we can make up a schedule for the warriors. We had warriors stations all around the house and yard. The news of an heir had spread, and we wanted to keep not only James safe but Ashlyn as well. We didn’t know what she was capable of now. And after everything that has happened, it’s better to be safe than sorry.
“That good, huh?” He asked after we exited the house.
“Yeah. Derek’s pissed about this whole Ian thing. He feels like she gave up being with our son to save Ian.” I sighed.
“That’s rough,” he said.
“And he told her,” I said, and he gasped.
“Fuck. And what did she say?” he asked me, while we walked to the pack house.
New Book: Veiled Desires of the Alpha King Novel
Dayson was the alpha of the largest pack in North America. Powerful figures from other packs sought to offer gorgeous girls as potential mates for Dayson. He steadfastly rejected these advances, he was not a pawn to be manipulated. But eventually there came a mysterious girl he could hardly say No. Who was she?