Chapter 51 – Falling for the Alpha as a Surrogate Novel

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Ella

My mind goes blank at first. Sinclair is too close to the truth, to figuring out that I’m not as immune to him as either of us would like to believe. The voice in my head is panicking, but I try to keep it together. Praying for calm, I take a deep breath, and as I exhale I recall the ability to speak.

“Because we’re supposed to be in this together, and you played me.” I murmur, speaking the truth – but not the whole truth. I can’t admit to him that I feel utterly rejected by his ploy, that I feel unwanted on a visceral level and it’s tearing me up inside for reasons I don’t yet understand. “You played me like I’m one of those reporters, or the Prince.”

Sinclair’s face twists into a grimace, and the next thing I know he’s reaching for me, “Please, come here Ella.”

“No.” I insist stubbornly, preparing to move away if he tries to approach me.

“I’m sorry.” He expresses, looking truly remorseful. “I didn’t mean to do that. I care about you, I don’t want to hurt you that way.”

“Well you did.” I reply petulantly. I don’t know where this comes from. With anyone else I would have accepted the apology and moved on, whether I actually felt better or not. I’ve always chosen peace over my own feelings – but I find it very hard to pretend with Sinclair. I think he would know that I don’t actually feel better, so why should I fake it?

“I know.” He nods grimly. “I promise I’ll find a way to make it up to you.”

“I don’t need some sort of reparation.” I insist, “Just… do better, Dominic.”

“I will.” Sinclair vows soberly, “You have my word.”

I breathe a sigh of relief, but Sinclair is surveying me closely. I can tell he wants to metaphorically kiss and make up, but as I suspected, he senses my upset is not wholly resolved. “What else?” He prompts.

“Nothing important.” I shrug, not feeling brave enough to ask the questions I’m most curious about.

“Ella,” He says my name as an admonition, scolding me for not being honest with nothing but those two familiar syllables. “Come on, tell me what’s on your mind.”

I gnaw on my lower lip, hating that he can read me so easily, but also relieved that I might get my answers. “Alright, what was all that about discipline? Those things the Prince said about my insolence? It didn’t just sound like Alpha stuff… I mean it’s one thing to be insubordinate to a leader, but the way you two were talking… it made it seem like all men expect to be in charge of their mates.”

Sinclair’s lips quirk at the edges, and the energy in the limo abruptly shifts. The air around us goes taut, feeling suddenly tense and electric despite the fact that nothing has actually changed. Neither one of us have moved a muscle. Still I know Sinclair feels it too – it’s all too obvious in his reply. “Such a clever little human.”

“You mean it’s true?” I gape. “Why, because of the dominance thing? But that’s so backwards! You just said that strength and all that doesn’t have true value.”

Sinclair emits a low rumble. “I said it comes down to power dynamics, and that dominance isn’t a virtue – but it is a reality in relationships.”

“So what, because men are physically stronger they get to boss around their mates?” I demand hotly.

Sinclair chuckles, flashing his fangs and clearly enjoying my indignation. “You have to remember that shifters are very primal beings. Whatever instincts humans once possessed have been socialized out of you. You’ve been completely detached from your inner animal. But for us? Our inner animal controls everything, our instincts drive everything.”

“And everyone else has to submit?” I guess, feeling a shiver run down my spine. “Even to their lovers?”

“Especially to their lovers.” Sinclair smirks. “For she-wolves, the best mate possible is the one who can best protect and provide for them. Their instincts drive them to test potential partners in order to figure out who is the strongest. They need to feel their mate’s dominance to know they’re safe, to satisfy their own inner animal. Only then will they submit.” Sinclair shares. “That’s part of why I think you’d make such a good wolf. I think you have some of those same instincts. You may not realize it, but you often test your limits with me, the same way she-wolves test their mates to ensure they have the strongest partner.”

“So all that talk about discipline… that was serious? Literal?” I squeak nervously.

Sinclair is up now, crossing the limo to sit beside me, invading my space with his big body. “Yes.” He rumbles deeply. “It was.

Does that scare you?” I don’t know why, but for some reason, his ominous manner makes me think he wants me to say yes, he wants me to be scared. Oh Goddess, what do I do now?

______________________

Sinclair

Ella’s eyes are adorably wide, and she’s squirming in her seat. However she doesn’t look afraid, she looks intrigued – curious. I can see her thighs clenching reflexively, and I can smell the beginnings of her arousal. My wolf howls in triumph. The gendered nature of shifter power dynamics might outrage Ella’s human values, but she clearly craves a strong mate just like any she-wolf –

whether she realizes it or not. Her body has always responded to my dominance even when her saucy little mouth argues against it.

“So,” her pink lips form a perfect “o” as she tries to wrap her mind around this idea, “if a she-wolf does something her mate doesn’t agree with, she just gets abused?”

“Of course not.” I explain, pulling Ella into my lap. “Only weak men assert their authority through violence or mistreatment. That isn’t our way.”

“But you said –”

“Consequences, not abuse.” I correct gently.

“What kind of consequences?” Ella asks, a tiny furrow appearing in her brow. I wish I could read her thoughts right now, but it’s enough to see the blend of eagerness and apprehension on her beautiful face – she’s excited by this conversation, and more than a little interested.

“Well, what does that word make you think of?” I inquire, thoroughly enjoying watching Ella come to terms with these ideas. It hasn’t been easy for me to pull back my wolf from treating her like one of our own, especially when she shows so many wolfish qualities. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping this conversation might open a new door in our relationship.

“With the children I nannied consequences were things like time outs and no screen time – groundings for the older kids.” Ella explains.

“It’s much the same with our pups.” I say, to Ella’s obvious relief. “But mates aren’t pups. You aren’t a pup.”

“I don’t understand.” She frowns, fidgeting nervously. Her silky thighs are still clenching and it’s all the more obvious now that she’s settled in my lap. The sweet little human probably thinks I don’t have a clue what she’s up to, but I know perfectly well that she’s trying to relieve the ache between her legs.

“Sure you do.” I encourage. “Just say the first thing that comes to your mind.”

“I mean, dominance and submission…” She trails off, her voice no louder than a whisper. “That makes it sound like… kinky sex stuff.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” I tease, stroking her hip.

“You mean it is?!” Ella exclaims, looking scandalized.

“You never experimented with that sort of thing?” I ask.

She flushes. “I’ve only ever been with Mike – he wasn’t the adventurous type.”

“Well in my book, these things aren’t adventurous. They’re standard – normal and natural.” I relate, my voice low and husky.

“And more fun than you can imagine.”

“But it’s discipline.” Ella argues. “Isn’t that only fun for you?”

“Not if you’re doing it right.” I remark coolly. “And it’s fulfilling for us both. She wolves need to submit as much as male wolves need to dominate – it’s in our dna.”

“That sounds completely sexist. Would a she-wolf tell me the same thing?” Ella asks archly.

“Ask Aileen if you want.” I shrug.

“Well it’s not as if these things really matter for us.” She reasons, straightening up a little. “After all, I’m not a she-wolf, and we’re not actually mates.” Am I imagining a twinge of disappointment in her voice? But over which part? The fact that she’s human?

That we aren’t mates? Or is she sad she won’t experience these things herself? I already know she never had anyone to take care of her – she’s never had discipline or consequences in her life, she only knew neglect as a child. Does she want someone who will give her the care she was denied now?

“True,” I agree. “But now that you know the consequences, I wouldn’t be too surprised if you get them the next time you act out.”

“But we aren’t lovers!” Ella objects, her pupils dilating and her breath coming in little pants.

“No, but you’re the mother of my pup, that makes you my responsibility. I’m not saying it would be sexual – I know you don’t want that – but if your behavior needs correcting, you better believe I’ll correct it.” I declare, knowing I’m playing with fire here. This sort of attitude might be catnip for she-wolves, but Ella might take it as a threat.

Her eyes are wide as saucers again, but she doesn’t look frightened, if anything she looks invigorated. “All those times you warned me not to test you, that you were showing leniency because I don’t know your ways…” She realizes aloud.

“That’s right.” I confirm. I watch her closely as my words land, and sure enough, she deflates a little. “You know now, so sneak out again or stomp your little foot on me, and I won’t hesitate to put you over my knee like the naughty girl you are.”

Ella gasps at my blunt words, staring at my lips as though she might kiss me. At first I think I’m imagining it, but then she leans in. She’s going to kiss me.

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