Chapter 56 – Falling for the Alpha as a Surrogate Novel

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Sinclair

I stare at my father, not comprehending his words. “What do you mean she left?”

“Well you took off and your brother came along and started whispering in her ear about Lydia and picking arguments with me.”

Dad explains pointedly. “I wasn’t surprised when Ella walked away – the poor thing clearly doesn’t like conflict. I thought maybe she’d just gone back to the restroom, but she hasn’t come back and I haven’t seen hide nor hair of her since.”

“Damnit.” I swear, dragging a hand through my hair and looking around. I don’t see the guards I specially assigned to her, and I can only hope that they’re with her – not searching for her too.

“What were you thinking, running off that way?” My father scolds.

“I had to make sure Lydia wasn’t a threat to her or the pup.” I grit out, wondering just how much damage my impulsivity has done. Between leaving Ella alone, publicly arguing with Lydia and now preparing to walk out before the feast has truly kicked off, it’s entirely possible that I’ve hurt my campaign – not to mention the mother of my pup.

“I understand that but you must know how that looked to Ella.” My father sighs. “And Roger didn’t help.”

“What did he say to her?” I demand, more harshly than I intended.

“About what you’d expect.” Dad grimaces. “That Lydia came back to try to mend bridges and you would dump Ella in a heartbeat to get back together with your fated mate.”

A low growl tears through my chest, and I’ve half a mind to go track down my treacherous brother and make him eat his words.

However my wolf won’t allow that. He’s demanding we see to Ella first – her welfare is more important than punishing Roger.

I make my excuses to the King and Queen, using Ella’s illness as an excuse. No one could fault me for caring for my breeding mate rather than furthering my campaign, and Dad and I return to the limo without much objection. The driver confirms he took Ella home a little while ago, but I won’t relax until I can talk with her.

When I get home, my rooms are empty, and I know it’s a bad sign if Ella is sleeping in her own bed. She only ever does this if she’s unhappy with me or – Goddess forbid, in need of privacy to relieve our sexual tension. Still, after the night we’ve had I doubt there’s much danger of the latter, so I make my way to her rooms without hesitation.

I enter without knocking, finding Ella curled beneath her covers but wide awake. She sits up when I enter, her golden eyes wide.

“You’re home already?”

“You didn’t think I’d stay after you left, did you?” I inquire, coming to sit on the edge of her mattress.

“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “I wasn’t sure you’d notice I was gone.” She winces almost as soon as the words are out of her mouth. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that – I sound like a spoiled child.”

“Don’t apologize.” I admonish, “not for sharing your feelings.”

“But they’re so petty.” She whispers, flushing bright red.

“You’re allowed to be petty every now and then.” I tease, brushing the hair back from her face. “it’s the least I can offer when you’re giving me a baby. What you’re not allowed – is to run off without telling anyone where you’re going.” I continue sternly.

Ella peeks up at me from beneath her lashes. It’s amazing how different she and Lydia can seem even when wearing the same expression. Lydia had adopted this look to try and manipulate me, but Ella’s shyness is entirely genuine. “You asked me if I wanted to leave, but then you disappeared before I could answer.”

“Uh-huh,” I hum, sliding my hand around to her nape. I close my hand around the back of her neck, massaging her tense muscles with my thumb. “You don’t really think I’m going to let you get away with that, do you?”

“I took the guards with me!” Ella protests, clearly knowing she was in the wrong, but attempting to push her luck. “I didn’t break any rules!”

“But you didn’t tell anyone where you went.” I reply. “My father was really worried about you, and so was I.”

“Oh.” She frowns, looking truly guilt-stricken. “I’m sorry, that’s not what I wanted.”

“What did you want?” I press, encouraging her to lean her weight against me.

“I just wanted to get out of there.” Ella murmurs, leaning her head against my shoulder.

“Is that really all? You weren’t angry at me? Trying to punish me for leaving you alone?” I suggest, trailing my hand up and down the curve of her spine.

“Not consciously.” Ella reasons, “I just felt overwhelmed, you were gone and Roger and your Dad were arguing, I didn’t know what else to do.”

“And I suppose it didn’t have anything to do with the things Roger said to you about Lydia?” I inquire.

“He didn’t tell me anything that wasn’t true.” Ella remarks, repeating a sentiment very close to the one she’d shared the first time Roger sought her out. I hadn’t cared for her acceptance of his warnings then, and I certainly don’t now, given everything that’s happened between us.

“Oh yeah, like what?” I probe, overflowing with suspicion.

“That you two are fated and I’ll never have that bond with you. He’s not wrong.” She answers blithely. Despite her casual tone, I can see the tension behind her eyes. Perhaps it truly doesn’t bother her but she understands he was out of line, or maybe she cares more than she’s letting on. Is it terrible of me to hope for the latter? To hope she’s sad about this painful truth?

“We’ve talked about this once before, he shouldn’t be saying those things to you – he was trying to be hurtful.” I clarify, wishing I hadn’t been so thoughtless as to leave her alone and vulnerable to his interference.

“Or maybe he was just hurt.” Ella suggests, using a tone I haven’t heard before.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

Ella pulls away from me, though not by much. “Look, I don’t want to get in between you two, and I know you’re right. He lashes out at everything and everyone… but he does it the way a wounded animal does… I can’t help but feel sorry for him.”

My mind reels and I try to keep my wolf calm. Ella sympathizing with Roger bothers me more than I’d like to admit. I love that she has such a big heart, but she doesn’t know even a fraction of his misdeeds, let alone what I suspect about his recent scheming. I guarantee she wouldn’t be feeling sorry for him if she knew he might be behind her attack, or helping the Prince to keep me from winning the throne.

Ella leans closer to me when she feels my muscles tense, and damned if it isn’t effective. It’s very difficult for me to stay in a bad mood when her soft curves are pressed up against me. “He hasn’t gotten what he wanted out of life and he might be wrong to blame others for his misfortunes… but I know what it’s like to be denied that way.” She continues, clearly feeling the need to explain herself.

At once I understand what Ella means. She sees something of herself in Roger, though she fails to grasp the core differences between them. Roger has let his misfortunes twist and corrupt him into a wolf without integrity or morals, whereas Ella has stayed pure of heart no matter what challenges she faced – and I guarantee they were considerably greater than my brother’s.

“You did once, not anymore.” I correct fiercely, taking her chin and forcing her to hold my gaze. “From here on out you’re going to get what you want, Ella. I won’t see the mother of my pup denied happiness.”

Adorably, Ella places her hands over her ears, as if she might block out the sound of my voice. “Don’t! Please don’t.” She pleads.

“I don’t want to get my hopes up, it will just hurt all the more when they fall through.”

At once I’m furious with a world that has conditioned her to think this way. I wish I could go back in time and find her when she was a young girl, to take her under my wing and protect her from the cruelties she’s faced. I know she wouldn’t be the same woman today without them, but I still wish I could spare her the pain.

“Listen to me very carefully, Ella.” I instruct, staring into the brilliant pools of her golden eyes, “I’m going to do whatever I can to ensure your hopes aren’t ever dashed again. I can’t promise you’ll never be disappointed, but you have my word that if it’s in my power to give you what you want, you’ll have it.”

“I don’t trust this.” Ella confesses, not meeting my gaze. “It sounds too good to be true.” She slowly raises her eyes to mine, taking a deep breath as she summons her courage. “You sound too good to be true.”

“Then I guess I’ll just have to prove myself to you, won’t I?” I grin, grazing my knuckles over her cheek.

She shakes her head. “I don’t need you to be anything more than you already are, just please don’t tell me to wish for the moon when I can’t even reach the sky.”

“That’s because you’ve been reaching on your own all this time.” I inform her gently. “It doesn’t have to be that way.”

“No?” Ella questions, her eyes shuttering. “Then maybe you’d like to tell me what Lydia had to say when you found her?”

Too late I realize I pushed too hard, I promised too much, and Ella is calling me on it. I need to make a decision and fast. Do I tell her the truth and make her fear for our future with our baby, or do I shield her from Lydia’s intentions and protect her peace of mind?

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