Filed to story: A Fate Inked In Blood Free
I saw it. I tasted it. I smelled it.
Not through my own eyes, but through the eyes of all who had been with me, the perspective shifting from person to person, giving me a strange sense of omniscience. Like…like I was seeing events as the gods did.
I watched myself, mouth drawn tight and amber eyes bright with fear, my gait stilted and pained. All around me, there were gasps as those in the crowd felt an echo of what each step had been like for me, and I flinched.
But it was nothing compared to the lance of agony that struck me when the vision focused on Bodil’s face.
I couldn’t do this.
Couldn’t watch her die again.
Bjorn’s hand closed over mine, squeezing. Holding me steady as my courage wavered.
Born-in-Fire, I reminded myself as I watched him cut down the tree. You were born in fire, you can do this.
The vision intensified, Steinunn’s song replaced with our labored breaths as we carried the tree. The screams of panic. Snorri’s shouted commands.
The impact of the ram against the gate.
The perspective shifted.
Now we looked down from above, and I realized with a start that Steinunn had spoken to the survivors of our attack. That I was now seeing from their eyes.
Feeling their terror.
My breath came in too-rapid pants as the hands belonging to the eyes helped lift a vat of boiling water. They poured it over the wall, crying in despair as it exploded off the magic of my shield.
Despair that was tempered as a tall and hooded figure approached, face hidden, lightning crackling between their palms.
It was coming. My heart was chaos in my chest, hammering against my ribs.
I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t watch.
Wrenching my hand from Bjorn’s grip, I clapped my hands over my ears and squeezed my eyes shut. But I couldn’t drown out Steinunn’s magic and the vision only grew in intensity. Sobbing, I watched myself trip. Watched Bodil drop her shield to catch me.
Saw that the thin lightning bolt flung by the child of Thor hadn’t been intended for her. It had been intended for me.
I hadn’t thought it possible for my guilt to cut worse than it already did, but watching the bolt burn through Bodil undid me.
My knees buckled, and it was only because Bjorn caught me that I didn’t fall. He held me against his chest, arms wrapped around me even as I watched myself from his eyes as he dragged me away from Bodil. Felt his panic as I wrenched from his grip and then his awe as I used my shield to deflect the lightning into the wall of Grindill.
Saw the moment when he met my gaze.
And didn’t recognize the woman he saw.
I stiffened, shock radiating through me at the mask of cold fury on my face, eyes that burned with crimson fire revealed only for a heartbeat before I twisted to race through the shattered wall and into the fortress.
Perspective shifted to those whose home I’d just invaded, and tears dried on my cheeks even as horror filled my stomach as I watched myself slaughter all who crossed my path, my expression wrath incarnate. It didn’t matter who they were, whether they crossed blades with me or tried to flee, I cut them all down. Bjorn fought at my heels, killing any who tried to stab me in the back even as he screamed my name. Begged me to stop. Yet I kept going.
Kept killing.
I witnessed the final confrontation with Gnut through the eyes of his men. Coated in blood and gore with my teeth bared, I was more monster than woman, and a shudder of relief ran through me as Bjorn’s axe cleaved Gnut’s head from his shoulders, and the last stanza of Steinunn’s song flowed away on the wind.
Prying my fingers loose from their death grip on Bjorn’s shirt, I turned to find the crowd shifting and shaking their heads as the vision cleared from their mind’s eye. Ylva hugged her arms around her body, her face a mask of revulsion that didn’t fade as she looked to me. Snorri alone seemed unaffected, moving to rest a hand on Steinunn’s shoulder as he shouted, “Saga foretold that the shield maiden’s name would be born in fire! Foretold that she would unite all of Skaland beneath the one who controlled her fate. And now you have seen what it means to defy the will of the gods!”
The crowd shifted, turning to look at me. Not with respect, but with fear.
“Tomorrow, Steinunn will leave Grindill to spread word of our battle fame. She will travel through Skaland, moving from village to village, and in her wake our people will come in droves to swear oaths to me, their king,” Snorri roared, calling their attention back to him. “And those who fight at my side will be sung about for generations to come!”
The crowd cheered, and a heartbeat later drums began to pound. Jugs of mead were passed around as Snorri broke open Gnut’s stores to reward those who followed him. I stared blankly at the festivities, horror rooting me in place, because that couldn’t have been what I’d done. Wasn’t how I remembered it all, because in the moment, it had felt like justice. Like I’d been righting a wrong.
Like I’d been punishing those who’d taken Bodil from me.
Bile burned my throat. Afraid that I’d vomit in front of everyone, I twisted on my heel and muttered, “I need air.”
I walked with no destination in mind, knowing only that I needed to be away from the crowd. Needed to be away from all those people who’d stared at me like I was a monster. Who’d follow me not out of respect but fear. Vaguely, I felt Bjorn on my heels, a silent shadow watching over me. My shoes slid as I skidded to a stop and rounded on him. “It’s a lie. I don’t know if Snorri made her do it or if those who she spoke to lied, but that wasn’t how it went. The people I killed…they were the enemy. They were attacking me. They…” I trailed off as I took in the look on Bjorn’s face. The exhaustion. The grief.
“A skald’s magic can’t depict lies.” His voice was low. “No matter what people told Steinunn, the magic of her song reveals only the truth as seen by the gods.”
My lip quivered. “Is…is that what you saw, then?”
Bjorn’s silence was all the answer I needed.