Filed to story: The LORDS Series Free PDF by Shantel Tessier
But do I really? Can you be physically attracted to someone you hate? Why do I allow him to put me in positions where I know he’ll humiliate me? Why did I willingly move in with him? Why do I let him control my life?
It can’t be love. It has to be convenience. I’ve been using him. Not the other way around. I’ve told myself over and over that a woman can treat a man the same way they treat women. He’s been my toy. And when I’m done with him, I’ll walk away.
“No.” The single word trembles on my lips, exposing my lack of confidence in my answer.
And just when I think I can’t be any more confused. A smile spreads across his face-one of those I fucking hate you smiles. I’ve seen it too often over the past six years. His green eyes light up like a Christmas tree.
My body is shaking, rage coming over me, when he reaches up and pushes some loose hair behind my ear ever so gently. Stepping into me, he tilts his head to the side. “I told you that video was nothing compared to what I’d do to you for setting my car on fire.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
COLTON
I FUCKING LOVE this bitch! I’ve got to be the dumbest man in the world. I thought things would go differently this morning. I wasn’t lying when I told her to carve her name into my chest, but I saw the look on her face. She doesn’t feel the same way about me. She thought I was playing a game.
Fuck, maybe I am. I don’t know what the fuck is going on. Too many lines have been crossed that nothing makes sense anymore.
Like right now, she’s standing in front of me, silently crying, and all I can think about is throwing her to the floor and holding this knife to her throat while I fuck her wet cunt, and she begs for her life. Something to give me control over the situation again because I’ve lost her.
Whatever hold I had on her is gone. I went too far last night. Or maybe she went too far with letting me have my way.
I step back, close the pocketknife, and point at my door. “Get the fuck out of my room.”
She doesn’t need to be told twice. Ripping my door open, she runs out, and I slam it shut behind her.
“Fuck!” I throw the knife across my room. She rejected me. She gave Nate five weeks of her life, but won’t even give me a fucking chance?
I brought her home last night, gave her a bath, and put her in my bed. Granted, she was in and out of consciousness for most of it. But I took care of her. It was the gentlest I’ve ever been with her, and she doesn’t even remember it. She clung to me. Needed me. It made me feel like a man. A protector. I’ve always used her, but this was different. I was finally something she needed other than a fuck. Or so I thought. I was obviously wrong.
My cell ringing on the nightstand gets my attention. I walk over to it and hit answer when I see it’s Mitch. “What?” I bark out.
“Hey, man.” He sighs. “I just wanted to give you a heads-up on Nate.”
“What about him?” I demand, pulling a pair of boxers on.
“I forgot that I told you guys that you could use the in-law suite last night. Anyway, I found him earlier this morning, and he was livid.”
“Good.”
“I just wanted to warn you. He was talking some mad shit. That he was going to fuck you up-“
I snort. “Thanks for the warning.” Nate doesn’t want to even come near me. I’ll break his fucking face next time I see him.
“I’m serious, Colt. After I untied him and removed the duct tape from around his mouth, he was throwing shit around. Running his mouth about begging … I don’t know what he was talking about, and he wouldn’t explain it to me, but he promised I’d understand soon enough.”
Well, at least he thinks I got the girl. I’d rather him not know that she turned me down. No matter what happens between Raylee and me, I know she’ll never go back to him. “Thanks.” I hang up before he can say anything else.
A knock comes at my door, and I open it up, expecting it to be her but let out a growl when I see it’s Finn. “What do you want?” I should have stayed in bed.
“Everything okay?” he asks, stepping into my room.
“Yep,” I lie. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Because I just saw Raylee run out of the house with a bag packed and tears rolling down her face. She was obviously upset.”
I run a hand through my hair.
“I don’t want to get involved,” he adds.
“Then don’t,” I snap at him.
He closes my door, letting me know that’s exactly what he’s about to do. “Don’t get me wrong, last night was fun-fucking great-but the show you put on was equivalent to the one where she burned your car down.”
“Your point?” I growl, not liking where this is headed.
“My point is, what the fuck are you doing, man?” He points at my door. “You two are going to kill each other trying to prove that you don’t love one another.”
I snort. “We don’t-“
“She may not love you, but you’re in love with her.”
His words are like a punch to my gut. I never considered her not feeling the same way about me. She comes crawling back to me every time I push her away. I guess, over time, I thought I could make her love me the same way I make her want me.
I sit down on the edge of my bed, and admit, “We got into a fight.”
“And?”
“And what?” I snap. Before he can answer, I add, “She’ll get over it and return home. Or come back to set it on fire.” Either way, she’ll return. She always does.
“Ahh, I see.” He sits down beside me. “Can I say something without you punching me?”
I give a rough laugh. “No promises.”
“You’ve been hell-bent on making her as miserable as you for the past six years. Now is the time to fight for her as hard as you’ve fought the feelings you have for her.”
I look over at him, and he pulls a joint out from behind his ear, staring down at it. “She’s got one more year left of college, and then she’s gone, Colt.”
“She won’t …” I trail off as his words sink in.
I’ve done whatever I needed to do to keep her in my life. To make sure she stays close to me. Afraid if she put too much distance between us that I wouldn’t be able to pull her back to me. What will I do to keep her here with me after graduation? What if she moves across the country? The thought alone is crippling.
“What?” He laughs. “She won’t leave? She will. Why would she stay here in a house with four guys?” Pulling his lighter out of his pocket, he puts the joint to his lips and lights it up. Taking a hit, he tilts his head back and blows it out slowly. “No matter how much she enjoys being your slut, she’ll eventually want to be someone’s wife.” He slaps my shoulder and holds out the joint. “It’s human nature. A woman wants to be more than a booty call, Colt. And after all the shit you’ve put her through, I think Raylee has earned the right to be happy. Whether that’s with you or someone else.”
Both of our cell phones go off at the same time, signaling a text message. I don’t even bother to look at mine because he removes his from his pocket. “It’s Tyson. He wants us at Blackout in thirty.”
I hand him back the joint, not in the mood to get high. I’d much rather go and beat some guy’s face in.
RAYLEE
I’M DRIVING DOWN the road, my hands fisting the steering wheel. I’ve got all of my weight on my left ass cheek because my right one stings from where he branded me. Fuck him and whatever games he thinks he can play.
I ran back to my room, used the restroom, then threw on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. Didn’t even bother with a damn bra and tossed some shit into a bag. I’ll go spend a few nights at my mom and Cliff’s. I hate that Colt will think he won by running me off, but I need some fresh air.
Need time to regroup and figure out my next step.
I thought about calling Tatum to see what she’s doing, but her cell is in the back seat of my car along with mine. She had left with Billy last night and forgot about it. I then thought I’d call and check on Raven, but when I tried to turn mine on, I got nothing. The motherfucker must have died. I didn’t have much battery left anyway.