Filed to story: A Matter of Sin and Love Novel Read Free Online
Her eyes snapped open. Christian’s face had softened. That stark coldness was gone as he lowered their clasped hands. He looked disappointed rather than angry.
‘There are some things you can’t fix so easily.’
She thought of the donation Christian had made to the community centre her clients used. She’d mentioned its difficulty in getting funds to improve wheelchair access. The following day a donation had arrived, enough to upgrade the facilities and more. She’d traced the payment to Christian.
Then there was Binh, the gardener here. Elena had chatted with him about the beautiful landscaping and the flowers. He’d told her how, when his wife lost her job in a florist shop, Christian had given her an interest-free loan to start her own business when the banks wouldn’t take the risk.
Christian quietly set about helping people, solving their problems.
He couldn’t fix this.
‘I’m sorry.’ She swallowed hard. ‘I shouldn’t have lashed out. I don’t know what’s got into me.’
‘You’re upset.’
Elena shook her head. Why should her sister’s call upset her? They were closer than they’d been in years. And yet she did feel…off balance. Because they’d dredged the depths of their dysfunctional family, stirring emotions she’d tried to put a lid on for years.
‘Come on, Elena. Walk with me.’ To her surprise Christian tucked her hand in his arm, drawing her close. She went with him. Her emotions might be a jumbled mess but she was honest enough to know it was what she wanted.
They’d reached the clifftop when he spoke. ‘I shouldn’t have reacted like that when you refused to tell me your problems. I apologise. That crack about you wanting my money was low.’
Elena’s head snapped round. An apology? She’d been the one to take a swing at him! ‘I shouldn’t have lost my cool. I’m sorry. My behaviour was appalling. I just… I hate feeling I’m not in control.’
‘That’s how you feel?’ No anger in his eyes now. This was the Christian she’d grown close to, so close it was tough remembering all that stood between them.
‘I like to understand what’s going on and make my own decisions. With you, with us, it’s like I’m on a runaway train. It’s racing ahead but I don’t know where or why. All I can do is hold on and hope for the best.’ The words spilled out. Elena hadn’t meant to reveal so much. Yet increasingly she wanted to smash down all the barriers and…
What? Share everything with him? As if he wasn’t just a temporary lover? As if they weren’t on opposite sides because of her father’s machinations?
As if she and Christian could be…important to each other?
‘I understand. I used to hate feeling powerless. I was determined to take control of my life and shape it how I wanted.’
‘I can’t imagine you powerless.’ Christian was purposeful, definite. That had appealed from the first.
His laugh was short and hard. ‘You have no idea.’
‘No, I don’t.’
‘But you want to know.’ His gaze was needle-sharp.
Elena nodded.
‘It’s not enough that we share our bodies and all our private time? That you know my politics and my taste in films and sport and anything else you want to talk about?’
Elena turned to brace her hands on the rock wall topping the cliff, searching for the right words. She shared more with Christian than she ever had with any man. Yet still she wanted…needed more.
‘You know my father,’ she said eventually. ‘Where I grew up. Plus I tell you about my work.’ Christian’s interest had amazed her and his concern for her safety had been genuine. He rang every day after her last appointment to check she was okay. ‘All I really know about your past is what I read in the press the night we met and the little you told me about Jack.’
His lips thinned. ‘You want the story behind the headlines?’ His tone was harsh, almost jeering, like his words just before she’d lashed out at him. What was it about his past that made him protect it so aggressively?
‘Is it a crime to want to know you better?’
She looked up into that proud, scarred, implacable face, sensing turmoil. Was it really too much to ask? She couldn’t shake the feeling that the real man remained hidden, despite the intimacies they shared.
‘Everyone who’s wanted to know more has only been after cheap thrills, mixing with the tame ex-con.’ The words lashed her.
‘I’m not everyone, Christian.’
Meeting his challenging stare, doubt assailed her. Was she wrong? Was she alone in thinking they shared something more than sex? Christian’s eyes had that horrible blank look and she knew he deliberately shut her out.
So…he’d confirmed it. She was just a sexual diversion. There was nothing profound about what they shared. She’d been misled by her own silly yearnings.
Her stomach swooped and she turned away.
‘Wait.’ He threaded his fingers through hers.
Elena stiffened. His power over her was scary. He just had to touch her. And Fuzz called her the practical one! If she had any sense she’d run, not walk away from this man.
‘I’m sorry, Elena.’ His hand tightened on hers and he laughed, the sound strained rather than amused. ‘There, two apologies in five minutes. I hope you realise that’s a record.’
Elena turned. Christian’s face was taut, his nostrils pinched and his mouth a harsh line that made something twist high in her chest. The sight of his pain did that to her. Her brain registered surprise that he let her read his feelings, but she was too caught up to think about that now. Impulsively she reached out, her palm cupping his jaw, sliding over his close-shaved chin.
Christian’s hand closed on hers, dragging it to his mouth. He kissed her palm and shivery sensations shot through her, making her tremble. The way he looked at her, the intensity of this connection, made her emotions well even higher.
‘What am I going to do about you, Elena?’ His voice was a low burr that furrowed through her insides.
She shook her head. ‘I wonder the same about you, Christian. I knew you were trouble the first time I saw you.’
‘That’s nothing new.’ His voice was harsh. ‘I’ve been trouble all my life.’ He smiled. ‘You, on the other hand, have always been a good girl.’
Elena’s chin jerked up. ‘How do you know?’
‘It’s not an insult, you know.’ Christian laughed. This time there was amusement in that dark-chocolate chuckle. ‘How do I know? Because you’re the Morrison who works for a living instead of dabbling with other people’s money.’
‘My brother works.’
Christian shrugged. ‘That remains to be seen. He’s spent the last couple of years on your father’s payroll. Besides, you’re the one who’s here, holding the fort. You’re the one your father turned to. The one who’s made a career caring for people.’
‘That doesn’t make me a saint.’
‘Absolutely not. I’m not interested in saints.’ Christian trailed a finger from her jaw, down her throat to her breast. Instantly Elena’s breath stalled as her body softened, need rising.
It took far too long to break from his sensual spell and step away. Elena drew her hands from him so she could lean back against the clifftop wall.
‘You’re right. We need to talk.’ Yet his eyes held that slumberous blue heat that was like an invitation to sin. An invitation she’d never yet been able to resist.