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Ashlyn
When Derek told me he didn’t know if he wanted to be with me, the only half of my soul I had left shattered. It felt like someone had stabbed me in the heart. I made sure the area was safe before I took off running towards the lake. The pressure that I hadn’t felt in so long was threatening to explode, and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t remember hitting the icy cold water or swimming out into the middle of the lake.
I ducked my head under the surface and let out everything with a scream. My entire body felt like it was burning as I let whatever I was feeling out into the water. When I was out of oxygen and my lungs were screaming at me, I surfaced. After catching my breath, I let out another scream into the night. Finally, the pressure had calmed down. If Tundra had been here, she would have been able to tell me what was happening. I could feel my magic, but this felt different but also familiar somehow. It was hard to explain. And my mind was racing with the pain that was consuming my body. My body felt numb even though I could feel the icy water. I didn’t care that I could freeze to death out here. I just wanted the pain to stop.
Coming to my senses, I swam back to the shore. I had James to live for, and even if I had to raise him alone, I would not leave him. He deserves so much more than growing up without his mother. I waded past Mason and Derek; they were arguing on the dock. Derek’s now soaked, but I didn’t have enough energy to care right now.
“Baby?” Mason called to me. I turned to look at both of them.
“I’m going to check on James and then I’m going to bed. I’m sure there is a damsel that needs saving around here somewhere.” I told them.
“What the fuck does that mean?” Derek huffed out, and I sighed.
“Do you remember what you said to me back at the cabin when you first met me?” I asked him.
“I said a lot of things,” he answered, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I asked you why you would help a wolf when you are a dragon. Do you remember what you told me?” I whispered, unable to hold back my tears.
“Because it was the right thing to do.” He sighed.
“I want to believe that you would have done the same if you were in my place. I didn’t risk my life because I love them. It was the right thing to do. We all have to make hard choices, and not everyone will understand them. But choosing to be with you was never a hard decision, one I will never reject, even if you chose to reject me.” I told him, with tears running down my cheeks. The mirror thought of him rejecting me, broke my heart and made my chest twist painfully.
After I said my piece to Derek, I headed home. I didn’t notice that I was shivering until Mason came up beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. His warmth was trying to break through the layer of cold that encased my body.
“Baby, what happened?” Mason asked me while we walked.
“I don’t know,” I told him.
“Okay, Baby. Let’s get you inside and get you warm. You’re freezing.” He said, pulling me to his side.
I felt like I was on autopilot as I checked on James before I went to change out of my wet clothes. Mason ran me a hot shower, but even that couldn’t warm me. After the shower, I put on some of my pjs that were still new. I would usually wear one of their shirts, but I now felt uncomfortable with them. I crawled into the middle of the bed after I dressed and curled under the covers. Mason came to sit next to me on the bed.
“Baby, are you alright?” He asked me, leaning down and kissing my forehead.
“Yep,” I lied. I didn’t feel like talking about it. I just wanted to close my eyes and pray this day away.
“I’m just going to shower and then I’ll be in bed. Okay?” he whispered, and I nodded.
I awoke with a start, not even remember falling asleep. Derek snuggled into my back, and I wondered when he came to bed. After last night, I didn’t expect him beside me, holding me to his chest. Both my mates were sleeping peacefully, but now I was wide awake. I grabbed a book and went to check on James. If I’m awake, I’m sure he is as well.
I climbed over my mates, grabbing a book and a hoodie before going into James’ room. I was still cold, not having Tundra really sucks. James was awake and babbling happily to himself.
“Good morning, my little love.” I cooed to him. I pulled my hoodie on before I picked up my cheerful boy.
I changed him before I took him and my book down to the kitchen. Making him a bottle and me a coffee, I took James into the living room. I laid down a blanket on the floor to give James some tummy time. After laying him down, I went back into the kitchen to get my coffee and book. I sat down beside James, placing my coffee beside his bottle on the coffee table. James was trying to do pushups, babbling to himself. He was growing and changing so much.
I took a sip of my coffee before cracking open my book. I was rubbing James’ back as I read. Hopefully, I can find out why the bond broke in the first place. When James became fussy, I moved to the couch to feed him. I was trying to feed him, hold him and the book. It wasn’t really working, so I put the book down and just focused on James. I could tell that he was getting sleepy. The bottle was almost empty when he was finally asleep. I moved him to my chest, rubbing his back, while being able to read again. James snuggled his little face into my neck before settling himself. My neck was at a weird angle to let him breathe and I knew it was going to be sore when he got up.
I was about halfway through the book when Liam entered the living room. He sat down beside me, looking at the book I was reading intently.
“Good morning.” I told him, still looking at my book.
“You okay? I heard what happened.” He asked me and I sighed.
“I’m as good as I can be.” I told him.
“How are you feeling after your fall?” He asked. And I actually didn’t even notice this morning when I got up. Everything must have healed overnight. I wonder how fast witches heal?
“I’m okay, Liam.” I answered, giving him a small smile.
“I’m glad you gave me a heart attack yesterday.” He laughed, and I giggled.
“I’m sorry about that. And hopefully, Mason wasn’t too much of an ass.” I said, and he laughed.
“Nothing I couldn’t handle. We were all worried about you. I jumped down and almost broke an ankle. It was almost too far for my wolf, so for you, it scared me,” he explained.
“I understand. Without Tundra, I don’t know what I can handle.” I said sorrowfully. It was still really hard talking about Tundra. Liam put his hand on my knee.
“I know, Beautiful. But you will figure all of this out,” he said.
“I’m sorry about your ankle? How are you feeling now?” I asked him and he laughed.
“You took a knife for me. I’m sure I’ll live. But everything is all healed up.” he told me. It seems like it was a lifetime ago that Madison had stabbed me over Liam.
“Liam, whatever happened to Madison?” I asked him and he sighed.
“They sentenced her to life in jail,” he answered.
“I’m sorry, Liam.” I told him. He cared for the one that turned out to be a bitch, and I felt guilty.
“Don’t be. She got what she deserved.”
“She never deserved you.” I told him and he smiled.
“I’m going to go make a coffee before I do my rounds. Would you like one?” He asked me, standing up from the couch.
“I’m okay, thank you.” I told him before he left the living room.
Turning my attention back to my book, I continued to read about mate bonds. It was definitely interesting to learn more about something that affects all of us. Most of this I didn’t even know. The surrounding people in your life can affect the mate bond. You can even choose not to accept them without rejecting them. The bond will eventually break, even without a former rejection. Having doubts about yourself can also affect how the bond works. To sum it up, you have to be happy to be happy, which is ridiculous.
But I think it’s me that’s affecting the bond. I’m not whole, like I was before, and that is warping the bond. How can I be happy when I’m grieving the loss of my wolf? Reading further, I found that you can’t kill your mate without dying yourself. That must be why the mate bond was broken. I wouldn’t have been able to kill Theo without killing myself, Derek and Mason. Selene must have broken the bond. Theo and I shouldn’t have had a bond since he had a chosen mate, but when my hand touched him at the camp, I felt the sparks. But I didn’t feel it with King Jordan.
My head hurt by the time I closed the book, leaning my head back on the couch. James was still sleeping, so I closed my eyes and tried to slow my overactive mind.
“Babygirl?” Derek’s voice called out to me. I opened my eyes to find him sitting on the coffee table across from me.
“Derek, is everything okay?” I asked him, and he sighed.
“No, everything isn’t okay. I’m sorry for what I said yesterday,” he said.
“Derek, you don’t need to apologize for your feelings.” I told him, holding James close. The thought of not having Derek was heartbreaking. I could feel my emotions bubbling to the surface. Derek moved to sit beside me on the couch. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest.
“Babygirl, I need to tell you something, and it’s difficult for me.” He told me.
“You found someone else?” I mumbled into his chest. My heart clenched painfully in my chest.
“What? No, of course not, Babygirl. I love you, our son, and Mason.” He exclaimed, squeezing me closer, kissing my head.
“Then, what?” I asked him, pulling away so I could look at him.
“When I told you about my mother, I didn’t tell you the complete story. My father told me that after she finally left, that the bond never felt right with her. And then when I woke up yesterday, and the bond didn’t feel right, I panicked. My mother was an awful person, and I thought maybe it was because of the bond. She hated me just for being my father’s son. And just the thought of our relationship turning into that scared me.” He explained. I snuggled back into his chest, wrapping my free arm around his waist.
“I’m sorry that you didn’t have a happy childhood. And I can’t explain the bond with your parents, but I may explain what is wrong with our bond.” I told him.
“You know what’s wrong with the bond?” he asked me, confused, and I nodded on his chest.
“Its me. I’m the one causing our bond to not feel right. So what you and Mason have been feeling is me,” I explained.
“Babygirl, I don’t understand. What’s wrong with you?” he asked me and I sighed.
“What isn’t wrong with me? But I’ll explain everything to you and Mason when he’s up.” I told him. He squeezed me close to him while we sat on the couch together with James still asleep on my chest.
“How are you feeling this morning?” Derek asked me, breaking the silence.
“I’m feeling better now,” I whispered.
“I’m so sorry about yesterday, Babygirl.” He said.
“I should be the one apologizing to you. I did not know what you went through. Ever since we met, it’s been all about me. I feel like I know nothing about you or Mason.” I sighed.
“And that is also our fault. We’ve been so focused on trying to keep you safe that we haven’t had time to be an actual couple. And now we have James. I haven’t even taken you to see my kingdom. So, I’m taking some time off. It will not be the same with all the security we have to have, but it will just be us,” Derek said.
“Just us and our pack,” I told him and he groaned, making me giggle.
“We really need to find Liam a mate,” Derek groaned.
“Why haven’t you taken him with you to the dragon kingdom? You never know, he could find his mate there.” I giggled.
“I guess we can take him with us,” he sighed.
“I understand that watching your mother cheat on your father must have been hard. But I would never step out on you, ever. Broken bond or not, you are stuck with me.” I told him and he kissed my forehead.
“More like you are stuck with us,” he said.
“Then let’s be stuck together. And we can figure out the rest later. I want you and Mason. Everything else doesn’t matter.” I told him, leaning up, pressing my lips to his. Mason came in before Derek could deepen the kiss. We pulled apart just as Mason sat down on the coffee table in front of us. He was in lounge pants and just a t-shirt.
“No work today?” I asked him and he shook his head.
“You two are my only work today,” he said.
New Book: Veiled Desires of the Alpha King Novel
Dayson was the alpha of the largest pack in North America. Powerful figures from other packs sought to offer gorgeous girls as potential mates for Dayson. He steadfastly rejected these advances, he was not a pawn to be manipulated. But eventually there came a mysterious girl he could hardly say No. Who was she?