Chapter 136 – Falling for the Alpha as a Surrogate Novel

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Ella

I gaze around at the icy mountains, squinting up at the sky. The sun is high overhead, only halfway through its daily journey from East to West. That means it’s about noon… three hours from when I found the passage, according to the bedroom clock. The Prince’s deadline isn’t until dusk, which means there’s still time to get word to Sincalir, assuming I can figure out how to get back to the city.

Suddenly I’m kicking myself for leaving my go-bag behind. My coat wasn’t there because it had been stained and damaged, but I had other clothes inside, things I could layer onto my body to try and provide myself some warmth. I might move faster without the weight, but lightness won’t help me if I drop dead from hypothermia.

Just keep your blood moving. My wolf advises, as long as your heart is pumping it will keep you warm.

Not if I’m sweating. I counter, the liquid will just freeze and kill me faster.

Then stay active, but not so active that you’re sweating. You don’t want to stress the baby anyway. She advises,

Alright. I agree. How far do you think the valley is?

Well, it’s nowhere in sight, so we must be on the wrong slope of the mountain. My wolf reasons, making my heart sink.

So what? I have to go over it? I ask in horror, looking up at the snow covered peak. There’s no way I can make that sort of climb without gear, and it would certainly take more time than I have to spare. Besides, I’d probably fall into a crevasse or get buried in an avalanche. There is no way in hell I can survive that journey.

I think we have to give up on the idea of reaching Sinclair before he can come after us… we need him to come after us. All we can do is try to stay warm and hope he attempts a rescue sooner rather than later. She suggests.

I hate to admit it, but I know she’s right. I’d wanted to prevent Sinclair from encountering any more danger than he already has, but beggars can’t be choosers, and right now I’m certainly a beggar. So do I stay put and walk in circles, or try to descend? I wonder. I don’t want to stay out in the open like this, in case the Prince figures out that I’ve escaped before Sinclair comes for me, but the closer I am to the tunnel, the faster I can be rescued.

I could just go back into the tunnel and hope that the Prince doesn’t figure it out. I realize, a light bulb bursting on in my head. It’s a risk, but the tunnel had been warmer at least, surely I’d have a better chance if… My thoughts trail off as I turn and see that the rock wall where I’d emerged is tightly shut. Like the fireplace, an interior lever had opened the exit to the passage, but unlike the fireplace, this one seems to have closed behind me.

Panicked, I rush back to the granite slab, pushing at it the way I’d seen my guards to at the safe house. I try and try to open it again, looking around for anything that might trigger the internal mechanism and finding nothing. In the end I’m throwing my body into the rock, tears of frustration streaming down my cheeks. “No!” I cry out angrily. “No, no, no! It isn’t fair. Open, damn you!”

Nothing happens, and I end up collapsing into the snow with a wordless scream of outrage and misery. Get up! My wolf orders sharply, lying in the snow is going to soak your clothes and then we’ll really be screwed. Knowing she’s right, I jump back onto my feet. The tears from frost on my cheeks, and I rub away the crystalline particles, trying to keep my wits about me even though I want nothing more than to rage at the Goddess and the universe for putting me in this situation.

At a loss, I stare down the mountain. The treeline starts about a mile below me, and though I know the sun will keep me warmer than the shaded forest, it’s also lower elevation and I might find shelter for the night. Even as I think it, I know I won’t make it through the night… not in my current state.

There are always the herbs. My wolf reminds me softly, her voice heavy with regret for making the suggestion. If you wake me fully we’ll be able to handle the elements. Wolves are made for the wilderness… you’ll be ten times harder to kill.

No! I argue immediately clutching my belly. Not unless we have no other choice. Those herbs are a last resort.

I don’t like it any more than you do. She remarks sorrowfully, but this is life and death. If you don’t make it, Rafe doesn’t either.

I know that! I insist ferociously. But I can’t… there’s still a chance that we can find another way. Maybe Sinclair can catch up before it’s too late. Maybe there’s a cabin somewhere in that forest… in fact, I bet there is! If the Royal Family uses this tunnels in emergencies I bet there’s some sort of emergency shelter nearby! It would be crazy not to when things get like this in winter.

Okay, then. My wolf approves. We keep moving and we look for shelter.

Calmer now that I have a plan, I rub my belly and give a word of comfort to my growing pup. “It’s okay, angel. Daddy’s going to come for us, and until then I’m going to keep you safe and sound.”

It takes me ages to reach the forest. I force my tired legs through the deep snow drifts, sinking down into feet of fresh powder with every step I take. I try to use my sharpened senses to detect a path or signs of opening in the dense trees, but I can’t seem to decipher anything but ice and snow. I’m already exhausted, and my skin stings with the bite of the glacial wind. I experience some relief when I move into the dense woodland, scenting the air for any signs of wildlife or civilization – no matter how distant.

The snow isn’t as deep in the forest, and it isn’t as cold as it had been on the exposed snowpack, but it’s getting harder and harder to keep moving. I want to rest so badly, but I just keep my mind on Sinclair and Rafe, and force my body to continue fighting.

I stumble forward for what seems like hours, and when night falls, I realize that it has, in fact, been far longer than I understood. I haven’t found any signs of shelter, and the air around me grows more frigid as the darkness sets in. “Where are you, Dominic?” I ask aloud, my breath coming out in a white fog around my face. I try to comfort myself with the knowledge that he will certainly know I escaped by now, and he’s probably on his way… but that tunnel was so long, and I’ve been walking for hours since.

He’s not going to make it in time. I suddenly realize, with dreadful certainty. He must have waited until he couldn’t any more… I begged him only to rescue me as a last resort and he listened. Now it’s too far, and I’m too weak. He’s still hours away, and I can barely put one foot in front of the other… I can’t even feel my toes anymore.

As the horrible reality overtakes me, I give up my trek. Shivers wracking my body, I curl up on the ground, clutching my limbs in a little ball. There’s only one thing left for me to do… but I can’t bear the pain of knowing saving my life will mean ending my baby’s.

“I’m sorry.” I sob pitifully, cradling my tummy. “I’m so sorry. I don’t want to do this.” I tell Rafe. “I tried… I tried so hard to save us.”

Though it had been her suggestion, my wolf is keeping mournfully in my head, every bit as devastated as I am. “I love you so much. If there was any other way… I would never hurt you.” My breath is heaving so violently that I can no longer breathe, “You were my dream… you were everything I ever wanted… your Daddy and I were to give you such a wonderful life…” I share through hiccups. “You were never going to want for anything, or doubt how deeply we loved you for a single second. You were my entire world, and Dominic’s too…” I can’t bear that I’m already referring to him in past tense. “I’m so, so sorry… you will always be my little prince. We will never forget you, Rafe.”

I continue crying my eyes out until I can feel my eyelids drooping and my heart rate beginning to slow. I don’t move until I know that there’s no more time to waste. If I don’t do this now… my baby won’t be the only one who dies.

It’s time. My wolf murmurs, sounding too far away for comfort.

My heart shattering into a million pieces… I swallow the herb.

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