Chapter 174 – Falling for the Alpha as a Surrogate Novel

Ella

After my snack, I meet with the chefs to talk about menus for the summit, then ask to have dinner sent up to my rooms.I’m feeling too pensive and tired to be social tonight.

I’m still reeling from discovering how badly I handled my troubles with Sinclair, and I’m both dreading and eager to make amends.I know I won’t feel better until I do, but the prospect is more than a little daunting.I’m too much of a chicken to call him on the phone, and I don’t know where he is or what he’s doing right now anyway.So I decide to wait for our dreams, where I’ll be able to feel his touch and let my wolf take over if things get too hard.I know Sinclair probably won’t be asleep for hours, but it was a long, emotionally draining day.

So as much as I want to put off our meeting I take a quick shower and climb into my nest.

It smells like Sinclair, and that blessed comfort is enough to whisk me off into my dreams.

When I arrive in the dream forest I have nothing but time to kill, and I spend it thinking about what I want to say to Sinclair when he appears.

Of course, the more I think about my mistakes, the worse I feel, and soon I’m fighting the urge to cry.

When my mate finally takes shape in the distant trees, I feel a deep pang in my chest.I can’t bring myself to look at him.I kneel at the foot of the bed, my hands resting on either side of my belly as I stare at my lap.I can perfectly picture his handsome face, rugged lines and bronze skin practically glowing in the light of the moon, his blazing wolf eyes piercing me through the darkness.

“Hello trouble.”

Sinclair’s deep voice wraps around me like a warm embrace, and I can see his black-clad legs just in front of me.

Strong fingers catch my chin, and then he’s tilting my face up to his.He searches my features with lethal intensity, and his voice is husky when he speaks.

“What, no smile?” He asks, running his thumb over my lower lip, his longer fingers splayed across my cheek and delving into my hair.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d think you weren’t happy to see me.”

I can feel his wolf prodding at our bond, trying to tempt my own inner animal to rise to the surface.

“What is it, little wolf? Talk to me.”

“I owe you an apology.” I admit, wide eyed and trying to stop my voice from quavering.

“Already?” He inquires, the corner of his lip twitching upward.

“I’ve only been gone a day, how much mischief could you possibly have made? Other than skipping lunch of course.”My jaw drops, and in my surprise and outrage, I forget some of my shyness.

“He actually told you?! That rat!” Sinclair chuckles, stroking my hair back from my face.

“You missed our bedtime call, so I checked with Roger. He explained that you’d had along day and probably went to bed early.”

A new stab of guilt assails me.

“I forgot.”

I bury my face in my hands, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.I just didn’t get a chance to nap and I was sleepy and the nest smelled like you and —”

“Ella,” Sinclair pulls my hands away from my face, his brow furrowed with concern now.

“Baby, it’s okay.”

“No it’s not.” I insist, furious with myself now.

“I keep letting you down, you’re always there for me and every time you need me to be there for you, I fuck it up.”

My words are met with a deep growl, and I know Sinclair is warning me to stop this, but I can’t help myself.

I forge on, my voice thick, “I’ve been such a horrible brat to you.

You’ve got the whole world on your plate and you were still thinking of me every step of the way — figuring out how to best use my talents while also looking out for the pack and keeping us safe.

All I did was give you a hard time for being stressed and then run away when things got hard!”

I’m on my feet now, pacing back and forth while the huge Alpha patiently waits out the storm, watching me with the bearing of a wolf about to pounce, his hands in fists at his sides as he glowers down at me.

“When we started out I gave you so much flack about communicating with me, but when you tried I refused to listen because I didn’t like what you were saying.I wasted our time together and whined and complained — and even now I can tell you’re pissed that I’m being hard on myself and you’re getting ready to comfort me and tell me I’m wrong and I won’t have it, Dominic!” I command, pointing my index finger at him sharply.

“I deserve your anger, I deserve to be held accountable and I’m not going to let you smooth this over because I’m breeding or new to being a wolf! Yell at me, or walk out on me, tell me I’m a spoiled hypocrite — anything!”

I’m breathing hard and near tears, my emotions swirling out of control.I’m prepared for the worst, and I even welcome it, anything to ease my guilt.

However Sinclair simply crosses his arms over his chest, his expression dark and foreboding.

For a minute I don’t think he’s going to speak to me, but then he rumbles, “Get on the bed, Ella.”

I blink, taken aback by his stark command.

“Why?”

My mate arches a menacing brow, one which has me scampering onto the plush blankets.

When I’m kneeling in front of him again, he steps forward, and I don’t need to tap into our bond to feel his disapproval.It rolls off him in waves.

“Who is in charge here, mate?”

I shudder at the pure dominance in his voice.

He lets his alpha power flow out of him freely, and maybe for the first time, I feel the full force of his strength.

I’m confronted with the reality of exactly how much magic courses through his veins, the reason why all the other wolves on the continent were prepared to bow down to him.

I’ve always known he was strong and fierce, I’ve always understood that he’s clever and kind, but before now I never quite realized how much more raw power he possesses than everyone else.

I’m also astounded to realize how much control he must employ every second of every day in order to keep it in check, to stop it from coming out this way and terrifying everyone he meets.

A moment ago I might have challenged him, but now I have no option but to submit.

“You are.” I answer meekly.

He nods, not showing me any mercy.

“And who decides how I feel? Who gets to choose whether or not I’m angry?”

“you do?” I squeak, my wolf squirming with the desperation to cease the onslaught of his power.

She’s on her back, belly up with her tail between her legs, but still Sinclair does not relent.His clenched jaw twitches dangerously.

“And who gets to tell me how to deal with my mate?”

“Well technically your wo—- no one!”

I cut off my defiant response when Sinclair unleashes yet another wall of power, disproving my earlier assumption that I was feeling all of it.

“That’s right, little wolf.”

Sinclair affirms, finally uncrossing his arms so he can grip my nape.

“On all counts.”

He growls wordlessly, and I shiver in his hands.

“You may be feeling guilty, and if you ask me nicely, I can help you work through those feelings.But you do not get to tell me how to feel about you or our relationship.”

“I’m sorry.” I sniffle.

“This was all supposed to be an apology, I just got so upset when I realized I -missed our call.”

“You don’t say?”

Sinclair intones sardonically, his thumb brushing up and down on the side of my neck.

“Now, would you like to try your apology over?”

I nod, amazed when I realize how much steadier I feel now that he’s taken me in hand.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t talk with you, especially after making such a big deal about communication. I’m sorry that I ran away, and that I’ve been self-involved and unsupportive. I’m sorry for lashing out when I knew your heart was in the right place.”

“And?” Sinclair prompts me ominously.

“And I’m sorry that I lost my temper and yelled at you and tried to tell you how to feel and how to treat me.”

“And?” He says again, still radiating with an overwhelming amount of strength.

I rack my brain, trying to figure cut what I’m forgetting.

Sensing my confusion, his wolf’s voice sounds in my head.

Food and rest, sweet mate.

“I’m sorry I didn’t take care of myself today.”

I add at last, feeling a huge weight fall from my shoulders now that everything is out in the open.

“Good girl.”

Sinclair praises, and my wolf preens happily.

“Now I’m going to tell you some things you’re not going te like, but you’re just going to have to deal with it.” He warns, pulling back on his overwhelming power at last, and I’m surprised to find I miss it.

“You haven’t let me down, Ella And I’m not angry.

We’re in an unimaginable situation here, and despite what you may think, you have supported me and comforted and inspired me ina hundred different ways since we arrived, and that is not up for debate.” I nod, understanding that he needs me to accept this without complaint.

Sinclair sends a rush of genuine emotion through the bond, reassuring me that he’s not only saying these things to placate me, thuy but that he actually feels them.

“Now, if you don’t mind, today was the longest fucking day of my life, and I haven’t even gotten to kiss you yet.”

Feeling a bit more centered and brave now, I peek up at him from beneath my lashes.

“And if I do mind?”

Sinclair chuckles, flashing his fangs, as he leans in anyway.

The moment before his mouth crashes into mine and heat explodes through every inch of my body, I hear his sensual purr.

“Too damn bad.”