Filed to story: The LORDS Series Free PDF by Shantel Tessier
“I told you that you deserved a better life. And I meant that.”
I frown, trying to understand what that has to do with him and that night. He leans in and gently kisses my forehead. “Run along, Ash. Saint will be home soon.” With that, he walks over to his phone and presses play. The song comes back on, and I slowly walk back to the door.
Saint? Why not punish him? He was the one who told Haidyn to give me the adrenaline. How do they know that Haidyn didn’t give me the wrong thing?
Then the text. Haidyn was hanging in that room so that means someone else had his phone and pretended to be him when they responded to Saint so he wouldn’t be suspicious as to where he was.
How long did they keep him in there, all alone and hanging in the dark with the hood over his head and gag in his mouth?
Does Saint and Kashton know what happened to him? That one I can answer myself. No. He wouldn’t tell them, and I’m not going to either. I’ll keep his secret. The Lords like to humiliate their own. And Haidyn is too big of a man to let his brothers know that he was electrocuted and whipped. That makes me wonder how they got him? Did they trick him into that room? Did he willingly let them string him up by chains? The thought makes my chest hurt.
Exiting the room, I pull the door back where it was and numbly make my way to Saint’s room. I get undressed and crawl into bed under the covers and close my eyes. I hate that they punished him because of me. I don’t want the guys to get hurt. Or hate me. I love all three of them.
That also means that Haidyn overheard the conversation that the therapist and I had about how the guys treat me sexually. She asked who I’m closest to. Do they think that I’m going behind Saint’s back to be with Haidyn? Are they trying to use me to get between the guys?
I don’t like that thought. It makes my stomach knot because nothing good could come from that situation. I’d never cheat on Saint. I’ve never been with Haidyn or Kashton without Saint right beside me. He’s the one who offers me to them. Not the other way around.
Numbly, I stare up at the ceiling trying to clear my mind and figure out what the fuck this all means knowing I’m not going to get an answer.
* * *
I knew it was too good to be true. It’s Sunday, and I got called in for my therapist’s appointment. I thought…no hoped she had forgotten about me this week, but no. She had Jessie come and get me, which I found odd, but I couldn’t say no, no matter who she sent to get me. Especially now that I know she’s going to use the guys when I don’t do what she says. I’ll follow the rules the fathers have set just to keep their attention off my friends.
I see the open door and enter the room.
“Close the door, Ashtyn,” she orders, not even looking up at me.
I slam it shut, and she looks up, removing her glasses from her face, and her eyes narrow on mine.
Plopping down in the chair across from the desk, I cross my arms over my chest. “I’m doing fine.” I get to the point.
Saint isn’t at Carnage at the moment, but I want to be naked and in his bed when he returns. I wish I had some sleeping pills. I’d love to knock myself out and leave him a note on the bed to have his way with me when he gets back. But since I no longer have any pain from the brand, I no longer get any pain pills of any kind.
She leans forward and sets something on her desk.
“What is that?” I ask.
“A pregnancy test,” she answers.
My wide eyes meet hers. “I don’t need that.”
“You’ve been here for what, two, three weeks now…A month?” She looks at the calendar on her desk. “You haven’t seen Devin or requested any type of birth control prevention. And I highly doubt that Saint wears condoms.”
“I’m on the shot,” I lie. It’s none of their business what I’m on.
She sits back in her seat, letting out an annoyed sigh. “Use my restroom, Ashtyn. I’ll wait with you for your results.”
“I’m not taking that.” I jump to my feet. “It’s impossible.” Okay, so that’s another lie. Any time you’re fucking someone, pregnancy is always a possibility, and she’s not wrong. Saint has never used a condom.
She leans forward, and her pointed red nail hovers over a black button on the edge of her desk. When her eyes meet mine, she pushes it. “You either pee on this stick, or Devin comes in here, ties you down, and draws your blood. Which one is it going to be?”
My stomach sinks, and my chest tightens at her threat. “But… I’m not…No.” I’d know that, right? Aren’t there symptoms?
Standing, she walks around her desk. “Contrary to what you think, I’m not trying to make things harder for you, Ashtyn. I promised your mother I’d look after you if anything ever happened to her. And I want to help you. Just take the test, honey.” I flinch at the endearment. My mother used to call me that, and I thought I’d never hear it again. “I can’t help you if you don’t let me.”
I try to calm my breathing, but all I can think about is that I’m pregnant, trapped in this hell by a man who will never let me leave. Saint told me…Carnage is no place for a child. And that husband had told our fathers to terminate the pregnancy if she is and then perform a hysterectomy. What will happen to me if I’m pregnant? Will it be okay since Saint is a Spade brother? Will it be worse for him?
My eyes drop to my left hand, and I fist it, a feeling of dread coming over me as I think of what we did, and the visual reminder I have on my skin.
The sound of the door opening behind me has me spinning around to see Devin enter the room with two other men. “You need me?” he asks the woman who I want to punch in the fucking face.
My watery eyes go to her, and she addresses me. “That question is for Ashtyn.”
Swallowing the knot in my throat, I shake my head. “N-o.” My voice cracks on the single word.
She picks up the pregnancy test and holds it out to me. I take it and walk over to the door to the adjoining bathroom. Opening up the pregnancy test, I undo my shorts as the first tear falls down my cheek. Sitting down, I close my eyes and take a calming breath, praying to a God that I don’t even think exists that I’m not pregnant.
I finish up and wash my hands. Exiting the bathroom and returning to her office, I see it’s just her and me again. I place the test on her desk. I haven’t even looked at it. I put it back in the package the moment I was done.
Sitting down in the chair across from her, I feel numb and sick to my stomach. She pulls out the test and sits it on her desk. With a smile on her face, her eyes meet mine. “Congratulations, Ashtyn. You’re pregnant.”
I stare at her, my breath getting caught in my lungs. It can’t be. I don’t believe her.
She tosses the test into the trash can next to her and places her forearms on top of her desk. “What are you going to do if Saint finds out it’s not his?”
“It’s his.” I manage to whisper. That I’m a hundred percent sure of that.
She arches a brow at me.
A fresh tear runs down my cheek, and I sniff. “I haven’t been with anyone else.” I pull on my shirt, my skin flushed and clammy. “I told you…Haidyn and Kashton don’t fuck-“
“Your pussy.” She interrupts me with a nod.
The room goes blurry, and my body trembles. “I’m not pregnant.” My tongue feels swollen, and I feel lightheaded.
“Ashtyn…” She sighs. “We need to talk.”
TWENTY-NINE
ASHTYN
I run out of her office, not caring that she’s calling out to me. I can’t hear anymore. So many lies. So much betrayal. And now a baby?
Sucking in breath after breath, I round a corner and run into someone. I scream as hands grab at me and lift me off my feet. I kick and fight, but they drag me into a room. It’s one of the fathers. She called them to come get me and take me downstairs. They’re going to kill my baby, force me to have a hysterectomy, and then throw me in a cell.
Saint won’t protect me, not after what he finds out. A hand slaps over my mouth, muffling my screams, and I buck wildly since my nose is so stuffed up I can’t breathe through it.
“Shh, Ashtyn, calm down.” A familiar voice growls.
My body instantly goes limp, and he releases my mouth. I sob as he sits me in a chair and kneels in front of me. “What the fuck is going on?” He places his hands on my shaking thighs and rubs them over my legs.
“I’m…pregnant,” I cry, knowing I can trust him.
“Shit.” He sighs, running his hand through his hair. “Does Saint know?”
I shake my head, tears spilling from my eyes, and I run my hand under my runny nose.