Filed to story: A Fate Inked In Blood Free
He’s your husband’s son, a voice screamed in my head. Nothing good could come of this!
Husband in name only, I screamed back at the voice. A sham of a marriage!
That doesn’t mean you aren’t bound! That doesn’t mean you won’t pay if you get caught!
The thought rattled sense into me, and I looked away. Lowered myself down so that my back was pressed against the wall, my eyes again fixed on his axe. As my desire faded, so did the adrenaline that had come with it, and exhaustion pressed down. Cold leached into my legs, into my back, and I shivered.
“Come here.” Bjorn’s voice was low and rough, and I didn’t resist as he pulled me against him, the heat of his body driving away the chill. I rested my head against his chest, so painfully tired but unable to close my eyes. Unable to relax because the misery in my heart refused to let me.
“What’s it like in Nordeland?” Perhaps no better a topic than his murdered mother, but I needed to fill the silence with something heavy. With something that would pull me down and down until I finally fell asleep.
Bjorn cleared his throat. “Colder. Harder. It makes Skaland seem like soft living by comparison.”
That was hard to imagine, though I didn’t doubt that he was telling the truth. “What are the people like?”
“The same. Yet entirely different.” He hesitated, then added, “It’s hard to explain, but if you were to go there, I think you’d understand.”
Nordeland was Skaland’s greatest enemy, the most vicious of raiders, and I struggled to reconcile that truth with his words, for all I saw were monsters who slaughtered families and burned villages, stealing everything of value. “They treated you well?”
“Yes. Very well.”
His voice was tight, but I pressed anyway. “Snorri wishes to make war against them. Will that be difficult for you? To fight those who raised you?”
Bjorn didn’t answer, but I kept quiet, waiting, and eventually he said, “No matter how I feel about the people, vengeance must be had against the one who hurt my mother. I’ve sworn an oath to take everything from him, and anyone who stands in the way is nothing more than a casualty of war.”
A shiver ran over me, and I started to turn to look up at him, but his grip tightened. Holding me in place, he murmured, “Go to sleep, Born-in-Fire. In a few hours, we’ll finish the climb to the summit and see just what the gods have in store for you.”
“Freya, wake up.”
I groaned and pried my eyelids open, my body protesting movement as I straightened. “How long was I asleep?”
“Only a couple of hours,” Bjorn answered, climbing to his feet. “But we can’t stay any longer. It’s already midday and you need to be at the temple for the full moon.”
“How can you tell the hour?” I winced as he pulled me to my feet, everything hurting.
“Instinct.”
He rubbed at his eyes, and I noticed the shadows beneath them. “Didn’t you sleep?”
“My axe disappears if I fall asleep,” he said, “and you were cold.”
I should’ve felt guilty, but instead a rush of warmth filled my core at the kindness. “Thank you.”
Bjorn shrugged. “Be glad you weren’t born in Nordeland. You wouldn’t survive your first winter with how you deal with the cold.”
I couldn’t really argue with that, choosing instead to sling my pack over my shoulders. “Let’s climb.”
Neither of us spoke as we continued our way up the mountain, which unfortunately gave me time to dwell on the conversation we’d had before I’d fallen asleep. On the tension between us.
I knew I wasn’t imagining it. Knew that there was an attraction between us that wasn’t one-sided. What I didn’t know was what I should do about it. Satisfying the lust was a stupid risk. Not only because of the consequences of being caught, but because I didn’t think it was an itch that would disappear upon scratching, rather one that would intensify with each pass of my nails over my skin. Or his skin, to be more precise. Having him would only make me want him more, and adulterers always got caught.
Adulterer.
The word made me cringe but at the same time made me want to spit in anger, because it wasn’t accurate. Snorri and I weren’t truly wed, so how I felt for Bjorn wasn’t a betrayal of a marital commitment. But it was most definitely in violation of the blood oath I’d sworn.
I frowned, for though I’d not forgotten the oath I’d made the night of my wedding, I’d been more concerned with the consequences that would be visited upon my family if I violated it than the implications of the magic. Would the spell Ylva had cast keep me from violating my word like some sort of magical chains? Or would I somehow be harmed if I broke my oath? I didn’t know, and asking such a question of Ylva would only draw her attention to the very thing I was desperate to hide.
It doesn’t matter, I reminded myself. You’re not going to do it.
Bjorn chose that moment to look back at me. “You’re quiet.”
“Nothing to say.” I winced at the lost opportunity as he shrugged and faced forward again.
It will be easier once we are out of these tunnels, because we won’t be alone together, so there will be no temptation. Even as the thought passed through my head, I knew I was only lying to myself. It would be there, and with Snorri insisting that Bjorn had been divinely mandated to guard my every step, we’d constantly be together, which meant we’d be constantly tempted.
Deal with it, I told myself sternly. You’re not an animal to be ruled by lust. Quit thinking these thoughts and they’ll go away.
Only a fool would be thinking about sex anyway. There were far, far more pressing concerns, such as what would happen when I reached the summit for this ritual. Far more pressing questions, such as why I, of all of the gods’ children, was to play such an important role and how I’d accomplish all that had been foreseen of me. That was what I should be thinking about.
Yet my mind shied away from those questions because all of it felt out of my control. What good was dwelling on something I didn’t understand and couldn’t influence? It would only drive me to madness, especially in this moment when there was no way to discover the answers to any of those questions.
Hiding from it won’t make it go away.