Filed to story: The LORDS Series Free PDF by Shantel Tessier
HAIDYN
She cries herself to sleep in my arms. The clock is ticking, and the hourglass is running out of sand. Closing in on the time I have left with my wife. I wish I could rewind our past. I’d change so many things about our relationship…or lack thereof. But isn’t that what life is all about? You live and learn.
I’ve learned that it’s okay to love someone no matter how little time you get with them.
I kiss her forehead, my lips lingering for a few seconds, feeling how warm she is. She’ll start to feel better by morning. That will give me one more day with her, and then she’ll live a full life without me. But at least she’ll be alive and well taken care of.
Closing my eyes, I try to dream of the future we could have had if we were born into a different life-where our kids play in the backyard with their puppy while my wife sits on my lap on the back porch with my arms wrapped around her and a smile on her face. I’ve never been one to dream, but she makes me believe it’s possible. Some dreams feel real but so do nightmares. What you see in the dark will come to light. So instead of opening my eyes, I choose to keep them closed and fall into a depth that not even the devil could pull me out of.
My eyes spring open, and I sit up when I see I’m alone in her bed. “Charlotte?” I shout, my heart instantly racing. “Charlotte?”
“What?”
I look over to see her standing in the doorway of her bathroom, her hair wet and a smile on her face.
“Fuck, doll face.” I let out a long breath. “Give me a heart attack.” I drop back down on the mattress.
She walks over to the bed and jumps onto it, straddling my hips. She’s got a naughty smile on her face and a towel tucked underneath her arms.
I reach up and yank it free, tossing it away. Throwing her head back, she laughs. “I didn’t want to wake you.” Her face goes serious for a second, and she whispers, “You look so peaceful when you’re asleep.”
“How do you feel?” I ignore what she just said.
“Much better.” She drops her eyes to my bare chest as her fingers lightly trace the Lords crest and then the 666 brand we got during training. Then they move to my bullet wound. Her eyes meet mine, and I see the apprehension in them. She has something on her mind, and she’s going to tell me. “Let’s run away together.”
There it is, and it makes me smile. “We can’t.” I refuse to give her a life like Adam has. Once you start running, you can never stop.
Rolling her eyes, she sighs heavily. “You said that it was up to me how long I’m with you. That I got to choose.”
“I did,” I agree, remembering that time in her kitchen. It feels like years ago that I decided she’d be mine.
She holds up her left hand, showing me her sapphire wedding ring. Then I meet her stare as she speaks. “I choose to be with you forever.”
I want to remind her that she didn’t choose me, but instead, I sit up, cupping her face, and speak. “To some, forever is only a matter of seconds.” Then I press my lips to hers, ending the conversation. My mind is made up. I’ve failed at protecting everyone who had ever meant anything to me. I won’t make the same mistake with Charlotte. My wife deserves better. The love of my life deserves the world, even if that means I’m no longer part of hers.
She opens her mouth and wraps her arms around my neck. I slide my hands into her hair, tightening my fingers into the silky strands. She moans into my mouth.
My time with her is limited, but I consider myself lucky. Not everyone knows when they’ll leave this world. I do, and I’m going to spend every second buried inside her. Savoring her scent, the feel of her soft touch, the sound of her voice. So when I’m locked in a cage surrounded by nothing but darkness and silence, I’ll have her on my mind. I’ll have memories to remind me that I was once a man who loved a woman who deserved better. They won’t be able to take that away from me, and that’s what I call a win.
CHARLOTTE
He’s pulling away from me. I can’t pinpoint what’s going on, but I can feel it. A woman’s intuition is the only thing that never fails her. When I woke up in his arms, I had this sickening feeling in my stomach. I got out of bed and made it to the bathroom just in time to vomit. I tried to tell myself that it was just the past twenty-four hours that finally caught up with me, but that was a lie.
I brushed my teeth and took a shower, trying to wash away everything and start fresh. I had just got out when I heard him calling my name. It just solidified that something is coming. If he’s worried, then I need to be terrified.
I dig my fingers into his hair, and he moans into my mouth. Fuck, I’m desperate for him. My hips start to rock in his lap, and he pulls my lips from his with his hands in my hair. His lips trail along my jawline and to my neck. He sinks his teeth into my sensitive skin, and I shiver, my pussy clenching as I rock my hips. “Please?” I beg shamelessly.
“Use your words, doll face,” he orders. His hand drops to my ass, and he gives it a hard smack.
I groan, needing more. “Please fuck me.” My voice is as needy as my body. “I’m your whore, Haidyn. Use me however you want.”
“Fuck,” he growls. His free hand drops to my neck, and I look up at the ceiling, giving him full access. He can choke me out or bite me. I’ve become a woman who will accept whatever he decides to do to me.
A Lady gives her Lord whatever he wants. “I’m yours,” I say breathlessly, hoping he understands I mean more than just sex.
“Yes, you fucking are, doll face.” His lips trail along my jaw, and I roll my head to capture them. Needing to feel them on mine and he takes my breath away.
I finish using the restroom and enter the adjoining primary suite to see he’s gone. “Haidyn?” I call out. He doesn’t answer, so I grab his T-shirt from my floor and pull it on.
Exiting my room, I enter the living room to find him standing with his back to me staring out the floor-to-ceiling windows showcasing my backyard. My view isn’t nearly as gorgeous as the one he has at his place, but it’s still pretty. I frown, seeing he’s put his jeans on.
Walking past my coffee table, I notice that my cell phone is on it, and I make a mental note to plug it in. I’m sure it’s dead. “What are you doing?” I come up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist, pressing the side of my head into his bare back, inhaling his scent. I try to tell myself that I’m just overreacting, but I know something is coming, and I can’t stop it.
He turns around in my arms, and I look up as he gently brushes his knuckles along my cheek, pushing my hair from my face. I smile up at him, but he doesn’t return it. Mine falls, and a sickening feeling returns to my stomach.
Reaching down, he picks up my left hand and runs his thumb over my wedding ring. That feeling intensifies, making me swallow nervously. “Do you regret it?” I whisper.
His silence makes my stomach drop. He steps into me, cupping my face with both of his warm hands and forces me to look up at him through my watery eyes. “I don’t regret marrying you, Charlotte. What I regret is why you married me.”
I sniff. I’ve fallen in love with this man, and the thought of him deciding he no longer wants me makes it hard to breathe. “What do you mean?”
“You only married me because you felt you had no choice.” He sighs.
I place my hands on his muscular chest and feel his steady heartbeat. “You didn’t marry me because you loved me.” I give a soft laugh to try to lighten the mood.
He doesn’t say anything about that. Instead, his eyes search mine, and I grab his hand and begin to pull him to the bedroom. “Come on.” I try to change the subject. “Lets go to bed. I’m tired.”
SEVENTY-FIVE
HAIDYN
She’s passed out and tucked into my side. I have one arm under her neck while the other sits on my bare chest. I stare up at the ceiling as the sun slowly rises, illuminating her bedroom. Charlotte finally fell asleep about an hour ago.
I should have let her sleep sooner, but I couldn’t stop. I needed her. And like the good girl she is, she allowed me to take whatever I wanted. It’ll never be enough, but all good things must come to an end. And my time is up.
Removing my arm out from underneath her, I slide out of bed and look over her. She didn’t move. The poor thing is exhausted. I want her to remember me. The me who loved her. Not the me who blackmailed and treated her like shit. Not the me who is about to leave her as if she never meant anything to me.
The alarm on my phone begins to buzz, and I pick it up off the nightstand, turning it off. It was set just in case I managed to fall asleep. I didn’t. I’ll have plenty of time to do that for the rest of my life. However long that may be.
By the clock on my phone, I have an hour to get to where I need to be. I bend down, reaching up underneath the bed, grabbing what I need and unzip my bag. I remove the contents and begin to attach them to each corner post of the headboard.
Then I sit down on the bed next to her. Gently, I brush her dark hair from her face before pushing her onto her back. She lets out a soft moan, and I can only pray that she’s dreaming of me.
First, I grab the pillows and toss them to the floor. I need everything out of my way for what I have planned. Grabbing her right arm, I pull it to the corner post of the bed, and I begin with a single column tie around her tiny wrist before I secure it with a Burlington bowline. She can pull on it all she wants, and it won’t collapse. Then I walk around the bed and do the same with her left arm.
“Haidyn,” she whispers, arching her neck, but her eyes remain shut. She gently pulls on her outstretched arms that are secured to each corner post of the headboard.
“You’re going to be fine, doll face,” I tell her, moving to the end of the bed. I grab her ankles, straightening her legs, stretching her arms a little farther. I need it to be as tight as possible. Otherwise, she’s going to hurt herself.
Crossing her ankles, I secure the third piece of rope around them, tying her legs closed. Then I crouch down and secure it to the bottom of the bed.
“Wh-at?” Her heavy eyes open, and she tries to move her arms but realizes she’s tied down. A soft smile appears on her face. “Haidyn, I can’t…I’m too tired.”
She thinks I’m going to fuck her again. If only I was that lucky. Walking back over to the side of the bed, I sit down next to her and cup her face. Her pretty blue eyes blink as the sun shines through the windows.
“Close your eyes, doll face. Go back to sleep.” Just then, my cell vibrates once more, and I realize I pushed snooze on the alarm instead of turning it off.