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That notion scared me more than anything.
Neal
More than once, I had thought about taking Becca. I wasn’t the type of man to be enraptured by a woman, but she was the first woman in my entire life I wanted nothing more than to simply make sweet love to.
She was beautiful in every way, with the largest heart I had ever seen, and yet, of course, fate be damned; she was in love with another man.
I had honestly thought when she left Miami I might have had a chance with her. The moment my eyes had laid upon hers, when she walked into my sister’s apartment, I was captivated.
Every single inch of her made me want more, and even though she didn’t know she was teasing me, I felt myself slowly losing control around her.
So the minute she’d turned around and told me with sorrow in her voice James had stood her up for the weekend, I took it as an opportunity. I had to see her.
I knew it could only be as friends, and I was perfectly fine with that. But even though I tried to keep my distance, I couldn’t. I had to be around her. Be close to her.
I had to know every moment of the day that she was safe. Even if she wasn’t mine to claim.
So the moment she stopped me from walking away and grabbed my shirt, begging for an answer that I couldn’t give her—I had to stop myself.
I wanted to kiss her. Pin her against the counter, and f*ck her until the only name she was saying was mine. Make her feel things no one but I could make her feel.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered as I made my way towards the sofa. My heart gripped at the fact she thought she had done something wrong.
“There’s no need to apologize, Becca. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I did though. I made things completely awkward and ruined the evening,” she replied, standing by the bottom of the stairs in the living room. Her long hair flowed over her shoulders as her big blue eyes looked at me with nothing but regret.
“Come here,” I said calmly as I gestured with one of my fingers for her to come closer.
There was hesitation in her eyes as she bit on her lip.
A plump lip I wanted to take between my teeth as I teased her, and then kiss till I swelled them from our desire. Slowly, though, she made her way towards me until her feet stopped in between my legs, and her eyes cast down at me with nervousness.
Leaning forward, I took her hand and pulled her close to me until her face was right in front of mine. “Nothing is your fault, Becca. Do you understand me?”
The soft fanning of her breath across my lips caused my c*ck to ache from the confinements of my pants. I could take her right here… right now, and I had a feeling she wouldn’t stop me.
“I understand,” she whispered before I reached up and brushed my finger over her cheek.
“You have no idea the things I want to tell you, but I know you love James, and I won’t put you into a situation that would cause you to be a bad person. No matter how much I want to.”
Gasping, I watched her throat as she swallowed, staring at me in disbelief. It was late, and even though we hadn’t finished the movie, I knew it was time for bed. If I didn’t go to the spare room right now, and relieve myself, I was going to take her on this sofa.
“I think I should get to bed,” she whispered as she pulled away from me.
“I think that’s a good idea.”
Turning, she glanced over her shoulder at me once more, and hesitated before nodding her head. “I prepared the spare bedroom for you.”
Of course, she did. She was always thinking of everyone else, no matter what she went through.
“Thank you. Why don’t you head up, and I’ll clean up here.”
“It’s okay, I can do it. You’re my guest,” she blurted as she went to pick up the plate.
“I said that I have it,” I replied, a little more firmly than I should have.
Stopping in her tracks, she nodded in silence, and headed towards the stairs, disappearing from sight. It wasn’t until she was gone I leaned back on the sofa and sighed, running my hand over my face. “The f*ck am I doing?” I muttered to myself before standing and picking up the living room.
This woman was driving me crazy, and as much as I wanted to take her, I couldn’t.
I needed to listen to what my sister said. Allegra told me to move on or move in, and as much as I tried to preoccupy myself with someone else, I couldn’t. Hers was the only face I wanted to see.
As soon as I picked everything up and put it away, I made my way slowly up the stairs towards the spare room. The only problem was, when I passed her door, I saw it was cracked and from where I was standing, I watched her naked body as she slipped the blush pink nightgown over her head.
The sight of her made my c*ck stand to attention, and before she could turn, I quickly made my way into the spare room, quietly shutting the door. Reaching down, I stroked my hard c*ck through my pants and groaned softly, imagining her lips wrapped around it.
Her beautiful face looking up at me from her knees as she stroked and sucked and teased me closer to the brink of exploding. I wanted—no, needed–her.
If James wasn’t careful, I would take what was his, and make her f*cking mine.
Becca
Waking up the next morning, I couldn’t stop thinking about how the tension between Neal and I was so high. Last night, he made me feel in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time. I felt wanted and desired, and even though I was with James, I couldn’t help but contemplate what a relationship with Neal would be like.
It was wrong of me, and I was so terribly wrong for even considering things like that.
The guilt weighed heavy on me, and I knew for a fact last night when I dressed my door was cracked, and I heard Neal’s door shut, so I knew he had seen me, yet he said nothing.
Did that make me a whore for being in that kind of situation?
Did that make me a worse person because I allowed something like that to happen, knowing full well I wasn’t single? God, everything happening to me was turning me more and more into somebody like Tally, somebody who couldn’t be trusted, and it was horrible.
Standing in the kitchen in front of the coffee pot, I waited for the dark brew to flow into its container so I could try to find some solace in waking up.
Lord knows I didn’t get enough sleep last night.
“Good morning,” came a cheerful voice from behind me, causing me to startle as I slowly turned and looked over my shoulder with a smile at Neal.
“Morning, I’m making some coffee if you want some,” I replied hesitantly as I turned my eyes back towards the coffee pot that was almost finished.
“Yeah, I’d love some. I do have to get on the road here shortly, so I won’t be taking up too much of your time. I’m sure you have plenty of things that you need to do today.”
There was awkward tension between us, and Neal stood on the other side of the bar top instead of coming into the kitchen where I was, which made me feel even more awkward.
I didn’t know what to do with myself. I didn’t want this to be a continuation where I would end up losing Neal because I made everything so complicated. But yet, deep down, even though I wanted James to be here, I wanted Neal to be here as well.
“Look,” I said, as I slowly turned back to him. “I’m sorry about what happened. I was out of line yesterday, and I shouldn’t have acted how I did with you. I do really appreciate you being here, but I also don’t want to make things complicated between us. Losing you would be awful.”
“Lose me. Becca, why would you lose me?”
Sagging my shoulders, I fiddled with the rim of my empty cup only for the ding of the coffee pot to go off, singing it was done. “Um, because of how I’m acting. I can tell that you like me, and trust me, I like you too. But—”
Letting my words slip away, I turned to him, watching as he stood there, staring at me with a shocked expression on his face. His eyes were wide, and his lips parted as he seemed to ponder over the words he was about to say.
“You’re not a whore, Becca. I know you don’t want me like that.”
“But… I know you saw—”
“I saw nothing,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “I went to bed last night. I’m flattered that you think you’re acting inappropriately and worried about my feelings, but things are fine. Don’t worry about anything.”
I could tell he was just saying that in an attempt to try and make me feel better. Instead, I felt completely embarrassed and foolish about the comment I had made. I had sworn he had seen me, but the way he acted suggested it was the most amusing thing he had ever heard because, in fact, he hadn’t seen me.
Of course, that would be the case, and I opened my big fat mouth when I didn’t even have the facts. “Oh, well, I’m glad we are okay.”
“Don’t be embarrassed,” he said as he slowly made his way around the counter into the kitchen towards me. “Everything got a little out of hand last night, but trust me, I know my place.”
He knows his place. Hearing that broke me even more.
He had no idea where his place was because right now, if he knew his place, he would know I wanted him on his knees in between my thighs making me forget about all the troubles I had.
“Oh, okay,” I muttered as I turned my gaze from him only to have him turn me back to face him.
“Becca… ” he whispered as he brushed his thumb across my jawline. “Don’t let it bother you.”
Nodding slowly, I pulled away from him and lifted the carafe of coffee, poured it into my cup, and then grabbed a travel mug for him and poured it in as well. “Okay.”
He said nothing as I turned back to him, handing him the cup. “So, since you’re leaving, did you want breakfast, or were you just going to catch something on the road? I don’t mind making you something.”
Awkwardness consumed us once again and as my eyes met his, I could see some unknown emotion brewing behind his eyes. “I think it’s best that I get something on the road, Becca.”
Those soft words made my heart ache, but I knew he was probably right. It would be for the best if he left. The longer we acted like this, the harder it was going to be to make things between us normal again.
“Okay. Did you leave the keys for me so that I can show those people the apartment?”
Nodding his head, he pulled the keys out and set them on the countertop. “They’re right here. Are you sure you’re gonna be able to do this? I know you’ve got so much going on, I don’t want to overwhelm you.”
“Yeah, no, it’s no problem,” I replied with a smile on my face as I shook my head and gave a soft laugh. “It’ll actually help distract me.”
“Well, I made the bed and everything upstairs, so don’t worry about that. I’m going to get on the road, but I’ll call you some other time.”
Nodding my head, I watched him turn to make his way towards the door. This might be the last conversation we could have based on the way things were ending, and thinking about that made my heart plummet.
I couldn’t lose him.
Running towards the door, I opened it and stepped out into the hallway just as Neal was waiting for the elevator. “Wait!” I cried out watching him turn back towards me.
“What’s wrong?” He took a few steps in my direction.
“This isn’t the end, is it? You’re coming back right?”